Earlier this month, I talked with my friends Matt and Sheri on the Untoxicated podcast (you can listen to the episode here ). We covered a wide range of topics, including one of my favorite ways to explain emotional resilience: the Window of Tolerance. This is one of the first visuals I share with clients. I think it's fundamental to understanding our nervous system and why we react the way we do. As with many of my graphics, the visual helps take something complex—like emo

A friend recommended that I read Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman. I was expecting another productivity book — a guide to managing my time more efficiently — or worse, a book shaming me for not getting enough done. What I found instead was a quiet, paradigm-shifting truth that turned my whole understanding of productivity on its head. Burkeman’s central message is this: we only get about four thousand weeks in an average lifetime, and no amount of efficiency will ever

The results are in from my unofficial poll: the people who love true crime are almost always anxious. And I don’t think that’s a coincidence. Is watching true crime an indication of anxiety? (Image by DC Studio on Freepik) It seems counterintuitive, right? For most people, true crime would cause  anxiety. But for the anxious mind, it often works in reverse — providing a strange sense of calm. Just as stimulants can have a calming effect on someone with ADHD, true crime can b

Summary Martha Beck is one of my favorite nonfiction authors. She writes books that are readable, relatable, and immediately applicable...

I love the movie Inside Out .  It brilliantly personifies the complex and sometimes contradictory emotions that live within us.  I think...

Take Your Emotional Temperature The High Cost of Emotional Reactivity Have you ever sent an email in anger, confronted someone in...

Why This Book Matters Now I first encountered Mónica Guzmán at the  Psychotherapy Networker Conference  earlier this year, where she...

In this blog, I share my summary and takeaways from the book Unstoppable Brain by Dr. Kyra Bobinet. I had two people recommend that I...

This holiday season, when there is too much to do and not enough time to do it, give yourself the gift of grace. G. Generosity – Try not...

We all have a bucket of energy.  It's our job and responsibility to keep our bucket full! Having a full bucket of energy means that we...

Many of the couples that I work with come in with really one goal -- each person wants to change their partner. If their partner would...

First, let's quickly recap my recent blog on triggered or FUSE thinking .  FUSE thinking describes our intense thoughts when we are...

I developed this analogy with a former client who, as a child, was obsessed with Legos. The idea is that, on any given topic, we each...

Have you been called passive aggressive before? Do you know what that means? How do you know if you are passive aggressive? And if you...

Everyone knows you need to take care of your physical health.  We need to exercise, eat right, go to the doctor and dentist, and...

Despite the title of this blog, I'm not a big fan of the word "triggered."  I think it can be useful, but it has this sense of going from...

I read this book because it was recommended to me by a good friend. To be honest, I didn’t know how much I would get out of it. This...

In my last post, I talked about my acronym EARS , which describes green light and yellow light behaviors when responding to someone who...

For whatever reason, recently I've been privy to a lot of conversations where the person sharing feels frustrated and the person...

I am a Susan Cain fan. I’ve recommended her book Quiet to countless people.  Quiet was her anthem to the unsung introverts amongst us and...