What the Movie 'Inside Out' Got Wrong

I love the movie Inside Out.  It brilliantly personifies the complex and sometimes contradictory emotions that live within us.  I think it did more to allow us to accept that we have different, at times contradictory, internal parts than any article, research study, or evidence-based intervention in recent years.  Also Pixar's storytelling is unsurpassed, which is probably why it opened all of our hearts to new learning. (Give me a heart-wrenching story over dry facts any day!)

So, why am I writing about a movie released ten years ago? Because last week I was talking with a client who said, "It's weird -- watching the character Joy made me super anxious!"  And it dawned on me, in the movie, Joy is not true Joy, but Anxiety in disguise. 

In this post, I'll give some examples that back up this claim, discuss what the movie ultimately got right, give some tips on how to spot Anxiety masquerading as Joy in your life, and explain why understanding this distinction is so important for your emotional health.  Let's jump in.

Sadness and Joy from Inside Out

Diagnosing Joy with Anxiety

How can we tell Joy is anxious for large swaths of the movie? Let's go through the signs.

• Frazzled Energy - This is the first indicator that Joy is anxiety in disguise – you feel nervous watching her. With true joy, your body expands, you feel a sense of well-being, and you're able to relax. Anxiety is the opposite: restricting, thoughts zooming, and tense. While Joy isn't always anxious in the movie, she is for significant stretches—and we can feel that tense, frantic energy in our own bodies as we watch.

• Need for Control - Much of Joy's anxiety stems from the fact that she can't control what is happening. She's constantly trying to prevent sadness from contaminating Riley's memories. At base, this is what anxiety is – an attempt to control the uncontrollable.

• Toxic Positivity – Joy spends a lot of time reframing events and spinning them in the most positive light. And this can be OK! But only if you are also allowing other healthy feelings like sadness, anger, and fear. Without a balance you end up suppressing negative emotion, which is the definition of toxic positivity.

• Catastrophizing - The main premise of the movie is that if Riley allows her memories to be tinged with sadness, everything will crumble and fall apart (dramatically represented by the destruction of Riley's internal identity pillars like Goofball Island and Friendship Island).  Going to the absolute worst case scenario is a hallmark of anxious thinking known as catastrophizing. It's a belief that one mistake will lead to ruin.

• Overdoing It - I think of anxiety as a problem with overdoing: overthinking, over preparing, over accommodating, over fixing, over functioning, over communicating, over regretting. Joy is the personification of overdoing in the movie. She takes it upon herself to save the day and is a whirlwind of doing too much. Anxious people find it very difficult to just be, which I call tap dancing on top of uncertainty.

Authentic Joy vs. Anxiety

Have I convinced you yet?

Authentic joy is expansive, peaceful, and connective. It allows positive and negative emotions to coexist – for example moments that are bittersweet. It is curious and can sort out what it can control versus what it needs to let go of. It welcomes sadness because it knows that grief is the price of love, disappointment clarifies values, and vulnerability is required for connection.

In contrast, anxiety is busy, frazzled, and tense. It can't sort out what it can control and what it can't.  As a result, it over functions and overdoes it, which exhausts everyone. It is busy reassuring, pushing down negative emotion, and chasing "certainty" without recognizing that negative emotions are important. This constant vigilance drains energy and authenticity from even the most positive of experiences.

What the Movie's Ending Got Right

The genius of Inside Out is in Joy's emotional journey and character development. The pivotal moment isn't when Joy takes control, but when she finally lets go. She looks at a core memory that is both happy and sad -- Riley crying after missing a shot, then being comforted by her team and parents -- and she finally understands. True joy isn't a solitary experience; it's often woven together with other emotions, especially sadness.

And as a therapist, I would argue that the depth of our capacity for joy is directly proportional to our capacity to feel sadness. Sadness doesn't threaten Joy -- it expands Joy's potential.

Why does it matter?

There are three reasons why this is important.  The first is that suppressing emotions can work in the moment, but if you never turn to these feelings, they can leak out in irritability or depression or, even worse, can start to wreak havoc with your nervous system or physical health.

The second reason this matters is that, as I said above, Sadness is not the opposite of Joy; it is its necessary counterpart. It provides the contrast that makes joy meaningful. You cannot truly appreciate the warmth of the sun without having experienced the cold. By making space for sadness, we aren't diminishing our lives; we are actually building a deeper, more resilient capacity for authentic joy.

The third reason is that, contrary to popular belief, emotional health is not at all about feeling happy all the time. Instead, well-being is more closely related to emotional agility. Paraphrasing Susan David, the originator of the term, emotional ability is the ability to feel a wide range of emotions, process them, and use them to align our behavior with our values. Suppressing, avoiding, tap dancing on top of negative emotions simply pushes them away and ultimately detracts from overall well being.

How to Spot Anxiety in Disguise in Your Life

Here are some tips straight from Inside Out on how to spot anxiety and redirect yourself towards joy in the moment.

• Frazzled Energy - This is the leading indicator. Most people can recognize anxiety because it feels like it's buzzing all around them. In these moments, do whatever you can to redirect your energy towards calming yourself down. Not by overdoing, over analyzing, over fixing, but by good old-fashioned relaxation and calming techniques like breathing exercises, a cold towel on the face, or a hot cup of tea. 

• Check your Motivation - Why are you pushing happiness? Is it because you're actually joyful or because you're trying to avoid feeling a negative emotion? If it's the latter, I encourage you to gently turn toward that negative emotion instead. While it might be painful or uncomfortable in the short term, feeling it will decrease your anxiety in the long run.

• Controllable/Uncontrollable - This is hard, but try not to delude yourself that you can take on everything! Some things are within your control and some are not. Make sure you are sorting appropriately. If this is hard, allow yourself to feel the feelings that come up when you contemplate the areas that you don't have control of. I'm guessing the feeling you have will be sadness. Sit with that.

• Shoulds - How much are of your internal thoughts are shoulds? "I should be over this by now. I should be happier in my job. I shouldn't let this bother me." Catch yourself when you are "shoulding" all over yourself and see if you can replace it with "want" instead. "I want to be over this by now." "I want to be happier in my job." You can already feel that those statements are tinged with sadness. Feel it as it comes up.

• Emotional Imbalance - Push yourself to feel your negative emotions as well as the positive ones. And support yourself as you seek to balance yourself out. Remind yourself as you feel sadness come up that, by staying with those feelings, you are actively increasing your capacity for joy.

A New Emotional Headquarters

The overall goal isn't to have only Joy at the controls. It's to allow every emotion to have space and to collaborate on decision making. Fear keeps Riley safe, Anger protects her boundaries, Disgust upholds her values, and Sadness deepens her connections and gives Joy meaning.

For much of Inside Out, Joy was Anxiety in disguise.  If we can learn to tell the difference in ourselves, we can start to feel a wider range of emotions, both negative and positive, and deepen our capacity for authentic feelings of love, awe, wonder, and appreciation.

What do you think?  I'd love to hear your thoughts below.  And subscribe to my newsletter to make sure you don't miss future posts!

P. S. If the ideas in this post resonated with you, your next step is to build your self-awareness muscle. My free gift to you is an Emotional Thermometer, a practical tool I give my clients to help them track their feelings and spot patterns (like when "joy" might actually be anxiety). Download it for free and start your journey to a more emotionally agile life today: https://larahammocktherapy.com/#emotional-thermometer

Joy is Anxiety in Disguise